Right before the Departure

Wounded and the crowd

Is there anyplace in this world...
Where being me is tolerable...
Where being sad is not bad
Where I can just cry wherever I want and no one stop me...
Where feeling emotional is not privacy...
Where crying doesn't always asked...
Where crying is a freedom just like saying, feeling, thinking...
They all create something but not always have to be feeded back...
and the tears sometime is an imunity respon to heal the soul...

This wound wanna exposed but not triggering any move...
This wound is just about to be released...
Through the scorching of sunlight...
Between a gap in the crowd...
Just to make me feeling fixed...

The Multipolar Mind

She said : faking a smile fix your heart.
She said : forget the wound you'll never feeling pain anymore.
She said : get someone to replace the old.
She said : get back and prove your love is a pure one eventough the soul will never be the same. The fear will stay. The risk does exist. The fragility treat you. Denial are everywhere. The logic won't accept.
She said : it's okay, time will go on and healing you. Someday someone come and fix you.
She said : no matter how someone will, no one resist of being ignored by a wounded soul who is almost disable to speak a word.
She said : don't ignore, fake a smile, throw fusty silly jokes, do the best you'll get the best. Don't you remember how easy you make somepeople fall for you last time ?
She said : yes I do remember that was before the tragedy happen. Before I did things and triggering someone. This time I am upset. of how easy I make someone fall to break them. Love the best way you'll pay the same price. For me, Love is not a buy and sell because someone who used to be love each other will always give and the ask will never exist because two people who used to be in love they give more, even more than the xpectation. Only if they are really mean to be together.
She said : you have too high expectation about defining love.
She said : I have years of experrience giving love in the best way but never responded the same. I deserve to conluse based on my expertise.
She said : that is the lesson of a forbidden love. You'll never feel that  way if you love after marriage.
She said : I saw tons of woman hurted, dumped, kicked, smashed in a marriage.
She said : that is because they take the wrong way to the marriage, that is because they taking "relationship" before marriage.
She said : I heard a divorce between a pure woman with a pure man. There was an issue of family problem but I believe that there is no guarantee of all things. Not the pray even. Because it always got selected. We always get what we deserve which in never expected and can't be a strong reason of why something being fated.
She said : I've been confusing in uncertainty of science and secrecy of destiny.

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