Marriage

For the first time in my life, I heard my father talk about having someone to be with me under the law. I am 23 and it has been 11 years after I got close with a man. It has been 5 years after I decided to get married after highschool which is finally not happened because no one even come over to ask my father permission.  It has been 5 years also after I said to Mom, if someday I fall in love with a short man with curve backbone, it must be I am dreaming because I expected not to be with kind of man like that but now I have an ex- with that description. Too much unexpected things happen, you know...
After all that memories, now I sure that I don't wanna marry that soon. I have been thinking about make my self happy by doing what I want. Doing some trip, reaching some job position and get to know with several good man and choosing the best for the rest of my life. I still wanna do that...

Up : My shillouette in Kukup Beach DIY
Down : Afgans shillouette I didnt know where it was. I saw this posted someday then  I remember I have almost the same picture with it so I just combine it. 

To be a stable person is never easy. I never finish in that one. Warm heart and high expectation. I was never failed and once I did it I feel like I fall in the ground. It feels like I am not supposed to be outside. Would be better if I lock my self away and keep my self from society. Again and again those feeling comes. In the time like this, every single word felt hurtful and pain and tearing me apart. I should stop at this time cause my psicology is unstable.